Frozen Diary
by themorningstar81
Summary: Sigur Lokidottir, the youngest daughter of Loki Laufeyson, God of Mischief, was happily married to Thor but something unknown destroyed her blissful life throwing her into a whirlwind of emotions and danger. What will she meet and do to restore her world to its original balance and joy?
1. Prologue

Sigur Lokidottir is the youngest daughter of Loki, God of Mischief. She was born when the Midgardian worship of the Asgardian gods was already waned and for this reason, she has no place in the Old Norse Mythology.

She grew up in the realm of Asgard looked after by her mother and Queen Frigga. Sigur's mother always strived to keep her far from her father because she was scared her daughter might become mischievous and unreliable like him. Loki acknowledged her as his daughter but didn't do anything more for her until she became a teenager.

The young Sigur grew up close to her uncle Thor on whom she doted. The blonde God of Thunder never forgot to bring her presents from his missions: toys when she was a child, jewels, clothes and weapons when she was older.  
Sigur loved spending time with her uncle because he spoilt her, made her laugh and took her on rides in the woods around the Royal Palace.

Time passed by and Sigur became a teenager with a flair for weapons and magic more than the speculations of the court.

She showed Loki's same magic abilities thus drawing her father's attention. The God of Mischief was pleased to know that his youngest child was so gifted and faithful to him. Sigur, indeed, had been keeping following his father's exploits all her life wishing to be like him. Even if he didn't pay attention to her, she was peeking at him, keeping him as her example.

When Loki heard that his daughter was showing such fine magic abilities, he drew closer and began to follow her and help her in the path of dark magic. He even gave her a very precious gift, a sword made of Uru, forged in Svartalfheim and imbued with the powerful magic of the Dark Elves. It name is "Drapteinn", the wand of Death.

But Loki wasn't the only one who drew closer to Sigur.

Over the years, the playful relationship between Thor and Sigur changed slowly turning into something different. The two spent uncountable afternoons and mornings swimming in the crystal clear water of the lake not far from the city but there was a day when everything changed, the day when Sigur spotted Thor swimming all alone. The young goddess hid in the shrubs to spy on him and she couldn't take her eyes off him even when he emerged from the water in all his godlike beauty.

Thor's attitude towards Sigur changed as well and in a matter of time, they fell in love with each other. Neither Loki nor Odin was happy with their feelings and they sought their separation.

The two grew more and more attached and eventually decided to get married against their powerful parents' will.

Sigur became pregnant with the couple's first child almost immediately and the two spent a blissful year in the wait of the birth. Loki grew increasingly colder towards his daughter, never hiding his deep disappointment for her decision to marry her uncle.

The day of the birth finally arrived and after a long, painful labour, Sigur gave birth to a healthy baby boy whose name was Erik. That was supposed to be her most joyful day, the day of her rejoicing as she was not only the crown princess but also mother of a crown prince.

On the contrary, just that very day Thor showed almost complete uninterest in the happy event, in his newborn baby as if Sigur had been only a friend. He paid a hasty visit to his wife and his baby to rush out of the chamber after a few minutes.

From that day on, Sigur's life changed dramatically.

Thor gradually stepped aside her life and their son's showing no interest whatsoever in the baby's progresses, his life seemed to go on as if he had been single, with no family to think of. To Odin and Loki that was the perfect and unexpected turn of the events so no one did anything to investigate Thor's weird behaviour, even tolerating his romance with a mortal woman.  
Sigur was shocked, in complete disbelief but little Erik demanded all of her strength and attention so she devoted all her future years in the care of her child with the help of Queen Frigga.

Unfortunately, the absence of Thor slowly took its toll on Sigur's morale and mental stability.

Little Erik grew up strong and healthy, in many aspects very alike his father and that striking resemblance harmed Sigur's mind even more throwing her into a restless state, making her longing for Thor every single day, crying for him every single night.

Despite the concerned pleas of her mother and Queen Frigga to redesign her life and look out for another partner, Sigur stayed strong and always hoped to see Thor coming back to her.

When her mental health really seemed to slip away from her hands, she took the decision to spend some time to Jotunheim, the original realm of his father Loki.

The dark, frozen realm of the Frost Giants will save her a breathless discovery that will force her to wander the Nine Realms to restore her own world to its original balance.  
During her long journey to discover what happened to her beloved spouse she will be accompanied only by her magic, her sword and a diary that will gather all her feelings, fears and adventures..


	2. Arrival to Jotunheim

Convincing my parents, Odin and even Heimdall to let me come to Jotunheim wasn't the easiest thing to do. I think that they believe sorrow and loneliness have driven me completely insane to take the decision to come here and isolate myself in such an hostile place. I think I should feel lost, here in the darkness and freeze of this dark world, indeed I feel awkwardly at peace. Maybe it's the physical change of my body, my Jotunn side that's got the better of the Asgardian one and that is suggesting me that I have nothing to fear from this place.

My mother looked at me with pleading eyes when I turned to look at her, before stepping ahead on the Bifrost, as if she was expecting me to change my mind. My father's chiseled features and clear eyes, and I wasn't expecting anything different from him, didn't show any feeling.

The coldness of Jotunheim assaulted me as soon as I set my feet on this world but instead of suffering it, I saw my skin turning into a blue hue, covered by weird marks I seldom saw on Asgard. It had happened only when I plunged my hands into the fresh snow. Heimdall made me the favour to dispatch me not far from the gloomy mass of the former Royal Palace of Jotunheim, the seat of my grandfather Laufey. I walked the short distance to its first buttresses, hearing my own steps on a frozen and barely visible path echoing in the canyon. There was nothing familiar in this place, on his horizon plunged into a bluish dim light.

High icy spurs surrounded me, peaks from where frozen rocks were rolling down the valley in a deep noise: there's nothing warm, nothing joyful in this place and yet, I felt better, glad to be here since the very first moment.

The first Jotnar that saw me arriving growled quietly, it was probably a startled sound, they bent ahead recognizing immediately my origin because only a Jotunn may have given life to such a small Jotunn.

- "Sigur… Daughter of Loki…" So I was greeted by who is now ruling over Jotunheim in obedience of Odin's gracious will. Jotunheim has never had another king after Laufey's fall even if my father is their legitimate heir. The Jotnar consider Asgard as the power that conquered them and that is still keeping them under its heel, they don't trust my father. For too long he's been living in Asgard, often cooperating to its greatness so they don't believe he will ever claim Jotunheim's throne to return it to its ancient dignity.

- "Why have you come here?" The giant looked at me from his height. - "To spy on us?"

- "No!" My voice echoed up those broken arches, travelling along gloomy wretched corridors cluttered with frozen ruins. - "I am here to find peace."

Another growl while he scrutinized me thoughtfully: - "How can we trust the daughter of Loki? The wife of Thor?"

A sigh left my lips: - "So you know that the son of Odin long abandoned me?"

The giant nodded and I went on: - "I wish to stay here for some time, to find myself. I am asking your hospitality.

I was granted it and also allowed chambers where I can keep my things, the trunk I brought with me and a Jotunn moved into my accommodation. My Asgardian drapes are an incongruous colourful spot in a world made of darkness and ice, I look at them, then I open my trunk and pull out all the things I brought with me: books, a few clothes, some magic object, my sword carefully stored in chest made of precious wood bolstered by golden rivets.

I put everything in my small frozen room and then I look out the window seeing a bare landscape, an endless expanse of ice and a stormy, blurred horizon. There is no domes that glitter in the mild sun, no statues that raise to meet the clear sky, no thriving gardens full of delicate flowers, no paved streets on which busy and smiling people walk, no gurgling fountains, no sweet Agardian air, no happy laughter of the guests in the halls of Valhalla celebrating their prince's latest victory, no familiar clanking of the Einherjar's weapons that train under Odin's watchful eye.

And yet… I am home… I feel such a sense of peace I though I had long forgotten, it envelops and restore me. I am not crazy! I only need to find myself again.


End file.
